podpolia

M: “I wouldn’t want to have a bellybutton ring, because every time you pull a shirt over it, it would pull, and your belly button could come off.”
D: “And then your legs would fall off!”

While teaching Geometry recently, I was reviewing the answers to a homework assignment with the class:
Me: “Which lines are skew in relation to PR?”
Student 1: “OM and NQ.”
Student 2 [with a look of complete confusion]: “Um… what are you spelling?”




Also that day: “Look! Smart Kid and Sloth Kid are friends!”

At the end of class one day, a student was listening to his music at a particularly loud volume on his headphones. Some other students were trying to hear it as well, and one said, “If you open your mouth, it’ll be louder!”

Another student chimed in, “And if you put the earphones up your nose, it echoes!”

Later in the day, a student (who was apparently not feeling particularly bright) announced, “I have the brains of a mango!”

They felt no better about themselves when it was pointed out that mangoes are actually a fruit.

While encouraging students to get ahead of where they were required to be on a particular project, I outlined a particularly long and arduous list of things they needed to do.

“And if you get all that done, you’ll find yourself ahead of the curve.”

One student responded, obviously distressed at the volume of work to be done:

“I’m already off the curve, over the bank, down the hill, into the creek, and drowned.”

While subbing for a freshman English class recently, I was to show a biographic video on Sherlock Holmes, and the students were to fill out a video worksheet. Admittedly, the sound on the video wasn’t very good, but an extraordinary number of students had trouble with the first question: what was Sherlock Holmes’ address? The answer, of course, is 221b Baker Street. The various responses for the question (besides the correct answer) are listed below. Some of them were very close, some of them were completely off the mark, and a couple of them seem to have been achieved by attempting to read other students’ papers in the semi-darkened classroom:
221 Boner Street

221 Baner Street

2201 Baner Street

223 Bakker Street

221 Baker Street

222b Baker Street

2216 Bigler Street

221 B Homer Street

221 Bake Street

221 B

2-21B

221 Balherst

221 Balher Street

421 Baker Street

221 B Decker Street

221 Barker Street

221 Baker Streete

21 B Baker Street

Victoria

B Baker Street

222 B Baker Street

221 E Baker Street

2213

221

221 East Bakes Street

While subbing for art class one day, students in one of the classes got to asking what the large wood frame with wires and strings standing against one wall was.

Student 1: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a loom.”

Student 2: ” I thought that’s what was in a mother’s stomach!”




Later that day, some other students were discussing actresses. One of them announced, “Megan Fox isn’t hot. Well, she’s hot, but she’s a S-L-O-T.”

I wasn’t sure whether to praise his tact, or correct his spelling.

One day in class we were discussing Wal-Mart’s typical clientele, particularly if you visit one in the middle of the night. We had all been in during the wee hours of the morning, and had all seen some pretty unusual folk.

One student, however, said that one of the Wal-Marts in Hagerstown, Maryland was far worse than most others.

“It’s in Maryland, but it’s near Pennsylvania and West Virginia, so it gets weirdos from all three. It’s like a trifecta of trash.”