“If Christ was on Earth today undoubtedly he would stand with the people in opposition to bullying, ill-tempered and expansionist powers,” Mr Ahmadinejad will say in a speech to be shown in Farsi with English subtitles.

“If Christ was on Earth today undoubtedly he would hoist the banner of justice and love for humanity to oppose warmongers, occupiers, terrorists and bullies the world over. If Christ was on Earth today undoubtedly he would fight against the tyrannical policies of prevailing global economic and political systems, as He did in His lifetime.”

This is really fascinating, and should be quite a revelation to anyone who has read the Bible. Somehow we all must have missed the part where he actively opposed the Roman occupation (which was a REAL occupation — taxation, brutal repression, crucifixion, and all), as well as the part where he fought “prevailing global economic and political systems.”

Then again, these things seem to be easy to miss, considering that Jesus’ followers included radical Jewish separatists (zealots — the type of people who today would support the “Zionist entity” that Ahmadinejad so strongly opposes), as well as Jews who worked for the Roman empire (as tax collectors). Not only that, but some of the Romans themselves followed him. Apart from “render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s,” (which, as a matter of fact, followed a middle path between support and opposition to the “prevailing global economic and political systems”), Jesus never really got into politics.

It’s also interesting to consider his death. Yes, Jesus was executed by the Romans, but at the behest of the politico-religious Sanhedrin. Pontius Pilate wanted nothing to do with executing an innocent man, but was forced to (literally) wash his hands of the matter when religious leaders operating in the political sphere began to incite the crowd to revolt. Which government — Roman or Sanhedrin — does the religious rule of the mullahs in Iran really resemble more?

This Christmas, perhaps the Britons who have the opportunity to watch this speech should do so. Perhaps, in proper context, the facts of the past might illuminate the present.

And we can be sure that the facts of the past are not on Ahmadinejad’s side.

Suddenly Babylon has fallen and been broken; Wail over her! Bring balm for her pain; Perhaps she may be healed.
We applied healing to Babylon, but she was not healed; Forsake her and let us each go to his own country…”
Jeremiah 51:8-9a, NASB

Hm.

“hide thy f from me”
Let’s hope.

“had the f of an eagle”
“like the f of an angel”
“perfecter of f”
“f-ed the multitude”
“thy people like a f”
Somebody’s popular…

“dissensions, f”
Paul seems unhappy with these dissensions.

“he will not f you”
“I reject your f-s”
“Love never f-s”
Rejection!

“devices let them f”
“f with their tongue”
“f-ing on his knees”
“f my inward parts”
Kiiiinky.

“I am f-ing calamity”
Somebody thinks highly of themselves…

“all may f … I will”
“and David f-ed”
“I f twice a week”
“Whom shall I f”
“righteous to f us”
Yes…

“Moses said … Do not f”
“Do not f, for I am”
“your f is lewdness”
“f … the wicked”
…or no?

“Solomon levied f”
Geez, didn’t he already have 900 wives?

“one f-inglight”
Isaiah seems to think it’s dark.

“was f-ing with smoke”
“the prophet was f-ed”
“plans are f-ed”
Statements on life…

“Wealth adds … f-s”
See? Girls go for rich guys.

So you see, the Bible has a lot of profound things to say, even if you cut it into bits, completely remove the context, and replace normal words with naughty ones. Now that’s impressive!