Classroom Quotes

–During a discussion on a bill proposing mandatory evacuations of people and animals during hurricanes:

“What about livestock? Will they be evacuated too?”
“WHAT?!”
“Like, cows.”
“OHH! I thought you meant, like, corn.”

–During a discussion on a bill proposing mandatory minimum sentences for drunk drivers who kill someone:

“If you’re driving drunk at night and hit a pedestrian, nobody would know.”
“If you hit a fat guy while driving a little car, somebody would probably notice.”

–During a discussion of Middle Eastern hygiene with a guest speaker (who was there to talk about proper respect for the flag, actually. Don’t ask.):

“Anybody know what a bidet is?”
“Yeah! It shoots water up your butt!”

–During a brief simulation of the order of Presidential succession:

“The Speaker of the House should be killed by a rampaging horde of babies!”

–During a discussion of the roles and duties of the President:

“So the President is basically just the head poncho!”

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